Growing up I was taught to never give up, I wasn’t allowed to quit; It showed weakness. I was supposed to be a fighter. The first thing I quit was dance and I was too stupid to realize how much I loved it till I quit it. I’m starting to realize that I loathe that word. And now I’m faced with the same decision and I’m terrified of making the same mistake or better yet something worse. Do I give up something else I love or do I fight for it.
The most obvious answer is fight for it no? But things are always more complicated than that now a days. I’m not a quitter and yet I’m ready to throw the hypothetical towel in and accept defeat. I’m not sure what thought sickens me more, fight and possibly break in the process or quit the one thing I’m afraid to loose most in this world.
These decisions never go the right way regardless of what choice you make. So here it is starring me right in the face. Do I fight for the one thing that can break me, the same thing that’s already left my heart battle scared and worn down? The same thing that means the world and more to me? Even when I’ve been taught contrary to the above statements you can’t break someone that doesn’t give a shit(excuse the language). YES! Because if it means so much to you and can break you it’s worth it, right? But what if they don’t want to be fought for? What if, they are happy the way they are, love the way things are going? No, because that’s what’s breaking you the most. Your Fear, the fact that you obviously don’t mean as much to them as they do to you. The fact that they would, could, and probably have already easily thrown you away… and you definitely aren’t the kind of person to degrade themselves for something like that. Right?